The Lost Boys
by Lune-Solei
Summary: Yumi, not everything is how we want it. Sure, we save the world, but why can’t we have fun as well? Why can’t we be the kids we are? The kids we should be'


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Code Lyoko or Peter Pan, or Peter Pan no Boken.

**Rating:** G

**Pairing:** None

**Warnings:** Uhm...nothing I can _really_ think of.

**Author's Note:** I recently reread the book _Peter and Wendy_ by J.M. Barrie and this idea literally popped into my head on the second chapter. It hasn't left since and I hope it's an enjoyable read. Please review.

**Dedication: **To Emu for loving it. To Rae for encouraging it.

* * *

Though she wouldn't readily admit it today, as a child she used to watch _Peter Pan no Boken_ tirelessly on the television set in the back room. She has hazy memories of sitting on the floor wrapped up in her favorite blanket while her mother prepared their evening meal and Hiroki drooled in his pen. After the show she would pretend she was Peter, slaying pirates, rescuing children, and playing with fairies in the back garden. Her mother would stand at the doorway when the shadows grew long and the stars woke from their slumber to call her in. Mrs. Ishiyama found her once on the tool shed, arms stretched wide and fingers splayed and she'd scolded her so thoroughly she hadn't gone back to the shed roof for months.

In all her childhood adventures she envisioned herself as Peter, not Wendy or Tinker Bell or even Luna, the witch girl from later. Because girls were dull and depended on others and _Peter_ was just so brilliant, who wouldn't want to be him? She can remember telling Hiroki that _he_ would be Captain Hook and her brother would protest because he was younger than she and wasn't that the point? But he wouldn't mind for long because he got to be a pirate and pirates were able to sail and loot so who wouldn't want to be one? She tried to convince him he was evil; he took the role more seriously than she'd imagined.

The night before they moved to France she finished rereading _Peter and Wendy_ one final time before shoving it into a cardboard box. Her father had gotten it for her when she'd turned ten and she had treasured it since. Her parents had told her it was time to grow up, she was too old for fairy tales but she didn't believe them, wouldn't believe them inside. Instead she kept the book and the memories alive as she stepped off the plane and into France, into her new life.

A life she never could have dreamed of.

"Yumers, duck!"

Her head bowed quickly as the ball soared over, bouncing off the wall and dropping to the ground near her left hand. Odd jogged over, grinning brightly with exuberance only he seemed to be able to muster at all hours of the day or night.

"Sorry, you know I can't catch."

"Right," she sighs. She hands him back the ball and glares back at Ulrich whose grinning sheepishly from down the hall. Jeremie is sitting cross-legged across from her, laptop open on his bent knees and neck bent at an odd angle.

"Ouch! Odd, quit it!" he yelled suddenly as the ball bounced off his head. The rubber ball hit the laptop screen, forcing it closed almost on his fingers before bouncing landing in the blonde's open backpack. Yumi glared at them all.

"Stop it. If you aren't going to be helpful, go and play _outside_," she growled.

"Aw, lighten up some Yumers, it's just a ball. Sorry Einstein, hope we didn't mess up the code." They all notice he's purposefully left out the "again."

"Yeah, sorry Jer."

"Sure you two are," Jeremie mutters. His eyes glint behind his glasses though and he grabs the blue ball, hurling it down the hall so that Ulrich actually winces when he catches it. "Now leave me alone so I can finish, okay?"

"Nice arm." She looks at Ulrich and notices the way his eyes are calculating and groans.

"You all are pathetic." The three of them watch from the dusty air as she stands and brushes herself off. "If I want juvenile tendencies I should just stay home with Hiroki," she adds as an afterthought. Jeremie looks insulted but Odd's grinning and exchanging a look with Ulrich and she groans, fed up. "I'll see you in class tomorrow," she mutters as she exits the factory.

If Japan had been home then France was Neverland. Or so she liked to imagine. Everything was backwards, from the language to the customs to the streets it seemed. The new town they lived in; surrounded on three sides by woodland, the fourth by farming and horizon. But she found her Lost Boys, and they found the villains they needed to defeat. She was Peter, ruler of the young and the misguided. Just as she had always wanted.

They played warrior, fighting against the monsters of the _real_ Neverland, the Neverland she could never have imagined. And maybe that's better, maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. For if everyone could imagine Neverland, she reasoned, then there wouldn't be a Neverland, there would be an Everland and that's just not the same now is it?

"Good job guys," Jeremie says as they exit the factory. He waits with his hands shoved into his pockets and a grin wide on his face. "Xana sure has his work cut out for him with you three."

"Glad to hear it," Odd chirps. He jumps up and balances on his toes for a moment before going flat-foot again. "You really should join us sometime Einstein, Lyoko's a blast."

"Literally," Ulrich agrees.

"I'm sure it is," Jeremie agrees dryly. He scrunches his nose and adjusts his glasses. "But remember, our objective at all times is to insure that Aelita is safe. No matter what the cost."

"Except human life, right?" Yumi questions. Jeremie gives her a blank, startled look and Odd and Ulrich stop their game of flicking and shoving each other. "Right?" she presses.

"Right, of course," Jeremie says. "Except for human life, unless necessary," he adds in an undertone. He continues before she can interrupt. "Some sacrifice is necessary Yumi, sometimes, even if we don't like it, we need it. But we don't have to worry about that because it hasn't happened yet and it _won't_ happen because you guys are amazing fighters. You are."

"That's the spirit Einstein!" Odd exclaims. He throws an arm around Jeremie's shoulders and crows loudly, laughing. "Three cheers for Lyoko's finest!"

She laughs along with them, shaking her head at their foolishness because that's all that really is: foolish. They don't need to risk other's lives for that of Aelita's, even if she is their friend. She leaves the factory, feeling confused and lost and that's just not right. Neverland is supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be 

amazing and adventurous and leave her feeling reckless and wonderful. Not dazed and at odds with the world and her sanity. Isn't it?

It's supposed to rescue her from the adult world.

"Mom and Dad are fighting again," Hiroki explains. He's sitting on the front steps, head against the railing. The October wind is tugging at his hair and he's shivering because as usual he forgot his jacket. With a sigh she goes over, crouching next to him to try and block the wind.

"Why aren't you inside?"

"I don't like listening to them yell." He sniffles a little and wipes at his nose with the back of his hand. She drops her bag and digs through, handing him a tissue. "Thanks."

"Here," she says, shrugging out of her jacket. "Put this on, you know you're just getting over the flu." He nods despondently.

"Can we play a game Yumi? Like back in Japan?" Back in Japan when the fights weren't so terrible but still ever-present, when she had to comfort her brother first. She offers a smile, brushing back his hair. "Peter and Hook?"

"Whatever you want Hiroki. Whatever you want."

And when the door slams inside it's the sound of canon fire off of Hook's ship. The dish that shatters in the kitchen is the sound of swords crossing, not sticks beating against each other. The yells are pirates and lost boys, fighting against each other in a never ending battle for control over Neverland. Control over their lives and their world and she falters only once, when she hears her mother cry. And that's when Hiroki presses his stick to her chest, when Hook stabs Peter. When Neverland begins to fray.

"Why do you let Odd get away with so much?"

"What are you talking about?" Ulrich asks. They're walking back from the factory, listening to Odd and Jeremie bicker ahead. A soft, feminine laugh follows the breeze back to them.

"He acts so ridiculous most of the time. Darting between girls, pulling pranks, doing those insane maneuvers on Lyoko. He's going to either hurt someone else or himself, just you see."

"Yumi," Ulrich reasons. He shakes his head and sighs. "You're probably right about the hurting, but it's just Odd. It's _who_ he is. There's not anything we can actually do about it, least of all me. He's just enjoying life." They're silent and she looks up to see Odd dangling something over Jeremie's head, Aelita leaping for it. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I just, I guess I thought that having Aelita here would be different." She isn't sure how though. Maybe she had expected Aelita to take control, to be able to reign in the boys, not add to their mischief. Because that's just what she did. She proposed silly thoughts that Odd took seriously, helped plot out the most extravagant escape routes, pranks, whatever. "I just expected things to be different," she whispers.

"Yumi, not everything is how we want it. Sure, we save the world, but why can't we have fun as well? Why can't we be the kids we are? The kids we _should_ be?"

"Because life just doesn't happen that way," she snaps. She pulls away from his grasp and bypasses the group ahead, hurrying back to home.

She goes home that night and digs through the plastic containers at the back of her closet, finding what she's looking for at the bottom of a dust covered tub. She spends her night rereading the book her father had gotten her. She feels her eyes grow heavy but that doesn't matter because she needs to remember. She needs to understand Neverland and why it isn't the same, why it seems to have drifted away.

And when she hears the crash in the middle of the night she thinks its thunder, not another breaking dish. And when she feels the warm, trembling body pressed tight against her she whispers lullabies in a tongue that's almost foreign it seems because no one else speaks it here. He wants stories of adventure and heroics, of pirates and Lost Boys but she can't think of any. All she can think of, all she can imagine is the sound of her mother's screams turning to sobs and her father's gruff barks. They are the sounds that lull her to sleep long after her imagination has dried up and Hiroki's breathing has escalated to peaceful snores.

She watches them with dark eyes, laughing inwardly, as she finishes her fruit salad. Odd and Aelita are trying to teach Jeremie the art of Frisbee tossing while Ulrich is sitting a ways off talking with Hiroki. Her brother is waving his arms around frantically and every so often they glance at her. She pretends she doesn't notice when they do.

"No, no, Einstein, like _this_," Odd explains tiredly. He crooks his arm and lets the Frisbee loose upon the unsuspecting park. Her eyes are trained once more on Hiroki and Ulrich, watching how they interact and musing on how happy she is that Ulrich can be there for him.

"Yumi!" Aelita screams.

She ducks and feels the Frisbee skate over her head before landing on the blanket behind her. "Odd!" she yells. He laughs, falling to the ground in a tangle of purple-clad boy limbs and yellow hair. Aelita's trying to hide a smile, trying to look concerned, but she knows them better. Jeremie just pushes up his glasses and gives her a faint smile and a head tilt that seems to say "I'm sorry but it is funny seeing your nose drip pineapple juice, really."

She tries to decide if she's mad or not.

"Very funny Odd," she settles on. "I'm glad you take enjoyment from constantly _throwing_ things at me. At least your aim isn't any better here than on Lyoko." She ends with sarcastic teasing because it's safe and it feels familiar.

"Hey, that's not nice!" he shouts.

"Neither is being nearly decapitated by a Frisbee." And it's not so sarcastic now and that worries her. But what worries her more is that just a year ago, she would be laughing along with them, and her voice would be teasing, not serious.

Hiroki approaches then, head tilted and hand running through his hair. "Yumi, can we play Peter Pan?" he asks.

Her face burns as she mumbles, "no Hiroki, that's a little kid game." He eyes her curiously but doesn't comment and soon Ulrich has him playing soccer and All Is Well.

Sometimes she remembers her hatred for Wendy as a child. She never understood why the girl would give up her life of adventure, of being in Neverland with Peter and pirates, fairies and mermaids. Why go back to a world of grown-up things? Why not stay in bliss forever? Who would ever want to return to a world of bickering parents, annoying little brothers (even if they _did_ follow her to Neverland), and expectations?

Fleetingly she remembers that she had wished Wendy dead once upon a time.

"That was harsh," Ulrich tells her sternly (and really, there's no way to avoid the pun when it's him).

They're sitting on the bridge to the factory, feet dangling over the edge and reflections racing by on the current. She finds it peaceful as she rests her head against the railing, comforting almost. She wonders if Ulrich ever had an imagination (not that he isn't creative, he _is_, it's just a quiet creativity that's rather more Grown Up then his earlier preachings on being children) and if so where it hides most of the time.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she murmurs.

There's a warm wind, a true hint of the summer coming, and it feels good against her face. Her mind drifts back and she wonders if it ever snows in Neverland, the real Neverland, not the conjured one. He reaches over, his fingertips brushing her neck as his palm rests on her shoulder. She shivers and turns to face him.

"You know what I'm talking about," he says patiently. His eyes are dark, fathomless, and she feels the shiver dance down her spine again. "Are you cold Yumi?"

"No."

_I'm afraid_. But what does she have to be afraid of? Nothing, she reasons. She has to wonder sometimes, in the darkest of night when she's waiting for the call to come that Xana is attacking again, what happened to Ulrich. What caused him to be so grown up, but at ease? Mature and immature colliding and dancing around each other in a delicate feint and thrust that made up the whole fabric of his being, or so she enjoyed thinking. Sometimes she wants to take reassurance from his calm, so unlike her own turmoil. Sometimes she wants to punch him.

His fingers rub reassuring circles beneath her jaw and she swallows hard. He smiles back at her.

"Being a little kid isn't a bad thing Yu," he continues, soothing. "Being immature and young, it isn't all horrible. Sometimes people need to escape, revert back into a world of simplicity and _joy_." Isn't that what she does? "Don't be so hard on Odd and Aelita, on Hiroki and yourself even."

"Ulrich…"

"You don't have to be such a grown-up all the time Yumi. Sometimes being a kid is grown-up enough." He leans in then, brushing his lips across her forehead and she feels her mind reel. She isn't sure from what though, his words, his actions, her world being turned upside down and spun sideways? "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"…No. No, I can manage on my own." She shoves herself to her feet and turns for home. Her feet carry her automatically as her mind wanders, trying to find sense in his words. "Ulrich," she calls, at the end of the bridge. He raises his head, watching her solemnly. "I'm _not_ a grown-up."

His smile is soft, his eyes tense. "I know, just mostly."

That night she sits in her room, covers tangled about her legs and lamp on, rereading the book. The binding is so undone that chapter four threatens to fall out. She tries to see it through Wendy's eyes this time, to understand her point of view and not just Peter's. And she understands, and that worries her.

She understands _why_ Wendy did what she did, and why she returned home in the end. Not because she wanted to grown up and leave, but because she was, even if she didn't want to. And wasn't that the point? Not _everyone_ could be Peter Pan, only certain ones. Not even the Lost Boys stayed young forever, they too grew up, didn't they? Wasn't that the point, to grow up so that Neverland never became overly populated, didn't they want to eventually become pirates (since as Hiroki said, pirates were much more fun than silly little fur-covered boys).

And as she looked back, she realized that she had never _led_ her Lost Boys. She had tried, and she had worried, but she had been older than them from the start, an outcast girl to boot. She was the one they turned to for help (mostly) not adventure. She had always been, and probably always would be, a Wendy, not a Peter. And maybe that was the point.

"You look glum."

"Hmph." He kicked a stone. "What do _you_ want Yumi?"

"I thought we could play Peter Pan and Hook, what do you think?" He eyed her sourly and she thought about how he needed a haircut. "You can play Peter," she enticed.

His eyes lit up at that. "Really, I can be Peter?" She nodded and his eyes grew suspicious. "Why, who are you going to play?"

"I've been thinking it over," she replied casually. "I think I'm rather more Wendy-ish than Peter-ish, don't you agree?" She took a seat on the park bench next to him. "And besides, Peter _is_ a boy."

"Well, I always _did_ wonder about you." He ducks her punch. "But Yumi," he says gravely and she eyes him, "I never thought of you as a Wendy. I always thought of you as a Tootles." And with that he's up and running, laughing and yelling and being a boy and young and she really wouldn't have it any other way. She gives chase, yelling and laughing as well, even if she agrees with his new assessment of her.

Because maybe being a Lost Boy is much better than being a Peter because being Peter means you never have a choice.


End file.
